let's make our homes in each others hearts

the fall of the vegan reich

Thu, 14 Jan 2010 21:08:58 GMT

today for lunch I went to Mc Donalds and got a chicken sadwitch. This may come as a shock to most people I know, but I am 100% ok with it. Because as of right now I am no longer vegan, vegetarian or anything else. I don't know why I feel compulsed to justify myself as becoming a bloodmouth but I definitely do.

5 Theses On Why I Am No Longer Vegan

1. I am 6'5, at the point I went vegan I was 196 pounds, I am now 163. This is not in any way because of my vegan diet, it is because of a substance abuse issue that I had a year ago but my vegan diet did not provide me with the nutrition to gain back what I had lost.

2. I do not believe that voting with your dollar matters what so ever. I am still 100% in support of animal, earth and human liberation and the prisoners of those movements. Me not eating certain things really has nothing to do with that. Infact veganism seems to me to be a major part of the emerging "Green Capitalism" variation of the commodity spectacle. I do not believe that industrial society can be "ethical" no matter what. Lifestyle choices do not change the world, collectivization of struggle does. No matter what we buy and consume life still sucks as long as we have to buy and consume things, no single item is anymore in the right than any other because no matter what it is the presence of the market itself that destroys life.

3. I don't want to define myself by what I don't do.

4. The environmental justification for veganism intentionally neglects to mention how devastating for the environment soy production is.

5. Veganism is the product of guilt. A guilt for a world we didnt choose to live in. I do not want to live my life repenting and suffering because of what my species has done. There is no point in destroying myself in the name of morality; infact id rather do the vice versa.

Sun, 22 Nov 2009 20:35:57 GMT

so there are a few things that have changed in my life that i think everyone back home should know. some of these are recent happenings and some of these are things iv wanted to tell people but haven't fully felt comfortable doing so, but with my moving home i want all this to be out there.
in no particular order

- I don't drink alcohol anymore. and really at this point don't really want to at all. maybe i will again someday, or maybe ill drink some of someones homebrew just to appreciate the creation (havnt done this, but am open to the idea)I don't want this to interfere with my relationships at all, i will still come to your party and hang out all night just like before. If we're ever in that situation and i make a comment about the fact that I don't drink its not me feeling better than you, its me reminding myself of what i really want to do.

- I've gotten really into cuddling with all my friends, thats something we never really did all that much of in frederick, if i ask if you wanna cuddle and that makes you uncomfortable in any way please just say something to me about it.

- As many of you know I'm out about being sexually queer, meaning my romantic or sexual desires are not confined within a hetero normative definition, what only some people know is I'm also gender queer. What does this mean? It means I dont feel like i fit, nor do i want to fit the conventional definitions of boy. I also for a long time have wished I didn't have a penis, I don't really plan on getting surgery for a variety of reasons, but the fact of the matter is I do not identify within my own body. My preferred gender pronouns are they or ze, but i honestly dont mind being called he because I understand that its a weird transition to make with someone you allready know but I would appreciate it to no end if people made an effort.

- I'm going to be living at the hippo house. This is a community space and doesnt belong to any ONE INDIVIDUAL. I dont want this to make any one not want to come over to my house, especially those friends of mine who do not identify as anarchists. Anarchism is part of my identity, its theory and ethics that I beleve in, so veiw the place i reside as my home not a book store but realize a major part of who i am is reflected in where I've chosen to live.

and thats about it that i can think of right now

Sun, 15 Nov 2009 18:31:00 GMT

i woke up this morning after a very stressful night,
the details of it arent really important, but it was a big reality check
not only in relation to my politics and how i desire to actualize them but how i have let drugs into my life again in a way I wish i never had.

...

but also there are these two really cute people who im seeing at their both awesome.

really into dali right now

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 02:36:16 GMT

all i do anymore is my school work and party
which is not the life i want to lead

Fri, 30 Oct 2009 05:26:47 GMT

7 weeks till i come home
and having a blast till then

Mon, 26 Oct 2009 03:45:16 GMT

So I think I'm transfering to goucher,
they have a community service & social justice major i want to get
meaning Ima move to baltimore
meaning... back to maryland
and that makes me really happy

Sun, 25 Oct 2009 07:06:35 GMT

my trip to new york was 90% of the things I wanted it to be
with a whole lot of great things that were completely unprecedented
i didnt see claire the whole time I was there, which sucks
but had a great time anyways

I dont want to go back to asheville
life is so unexciting there

Wed, 21 Oct 2009 04:51:51 GMT

I've decided I'm leaving frederick again on thursday
i've had a great time and want to leave now so i'll miss it more

Sun, 11 Oct 2009 20:07:39 GMT

i found out my friend evan doesn't hate herself and was confused.
i thought everyone did

Sun, 04 Oct 2009 23:41:32 GMT

honestly yesterday was all around one of the best days iv had in years
and today i woke up with a hella cold

Wed, 30 Sep 2009 14:58:55 GMT

UGHHHH
there's this boy who used to be something good for me but im not sure anymore
and this girl who was here and now i miss alot and im scared to call her and i know im gonna see her again for a few days in like 2 weeks and possibly be staying with her
and theres some other people who are just like minor things in my life cause im so stressed about these two that im afraid ill ruin things with
and i still love somebody too

i want the full prism of of puma track suits and coordinated O's flatbrims

____________________________________________________________________________________________
Here is the ultimatum of our camp: what can be smashed should be smashed; what will stand the blow is good; what will fly into smithereens is rubbish; at any rate, hit out right and left there will and can be no harm from it.
-Pisarev

Mon, 28 Sep 2009 01:04:15 GMT

nothing ever burns down by itself

every fire needs a little bit of help

Tue, 22 Sep 2009 00:04:09 GMT

1. "It's easy to criticize, but really, what do you propose?"
2. "Anyway, you're against everything."

1. Nothing
2. Yes

Sat, 05 Sep 2009 14:24:45 GMT

Being single is weird and fun but falling asleep alone is lonely and cold. I keep getting crushes on just about everyone I see, which is something I've kinda always done and considering the Mountain of Babes I live on its really not all that surprising.I have no idea what I really want in life or how I even define any of the things I feel. But I read this in a Bash Back communique and it registers quite well,

"We have NO sexual orientation, WE ARE PEOPLE OF DESIRE. Our taste is NOT OBJECTIVE because OUR DESIRES ARE NOT STAGNANT..."

Wed, 02 Sep 2009 03:58:03 GMT

so iv been hanging out alot with this girl i like alot
and now more than once its just kinda been cuddling and watching movies
so like tonight after we spooned and watched spinal tap i did one of those you're really nervous so you spill everything at once in a "ihaveabigcrushonyoubutijustgotoutofareallylongrelationshipanddontreallywantanotherrelationshipatallbutidoreallylikeyouandfiguredthatishouldsaysomething"
and she feels similar and neither of us are like all about like being with each other but we really enjoy each others company so were gonna keep hanging out and watching movies (and hopefully as i assume cuddling) and im really super excited and i feel really good right now
better than iv felt about myself in a long time

and she likes getting high and playing on photobooth as much as i do

Fri, 21 Aug 2009 14:24:14 GMT

i kinda feel like i may have hit rock bottom.
heather and i broke up. i had a feeling it was going to happen, she says she just isnt sexually attracted to men anymore. which considering all reasons to have someone you love break up with you is probably the one that hurts me least, in a way im happy for her, in a way.

i had gone over to her room to make her dinner, i had spagetti and a bottle of decent wine
we never ended up even starting to make the food
we talked for a good 4 hours about everything, like EVERYTHING. pretty much taking turns crying
then we started drinking the bottle of wine and pretty much sobbed together in each others arms telling each other we were sorry and that we loved each other (all though i guess in completely different ways) until we fell asleep
when we woke up i was the little spoon, its allways been my favorite and i layed there thinking about how, well kindof uncomfortable it was considering that we werent together anymore, but also fully aware that i was being held by someone i loved and that as soon as i stood up, she wasnt ever gonna hold me again
she woke up, we cried a little more and then i had to pick tobin up from the airport, i tucked her in and started walking for the door, i could hear her crying behind me but i just kept going

your broken hearted, recovering drug addict friend
mike

Wed, 12 Aug 2009 15:18:29 GMT

last week in town

Mon, 03 Aug 2009 18:34:44 GMT

SHARK WEEK

Fri, 31 Jul 2009 05:06:16 GMT

i thought that seeing her would make everything okay with me again
but
i'm a nervous wreck
i just want her to please show some excitement about us being back in the same place
i feel like she doesn't even want to

:( allways scared

-Mike

Tue, 21 Jul 2009 19:34:40 GMT

it's been a long time
summer has allways been a happy time for me, this summer has been one of internal struggle. chemicals, relationships, old friends, issues issues issues. I needed time to think, but i think i got too much time
im ready to go back to north carolina now
im ready to restart life

i've finally figured out what it means when they say you can never go home

Wed, 17 Jun 2009 03:27:06 GMT

it's been ages since I have updated this
computer access hasn't really been available to me for some time now and plenty of awesome adventures and such have occurred since my last post but i wont take the time to spell them all out

i moved to Harpers Ferry, West Virginia for the summer. I live in a tent in the woods and work as a river guide

this is the most up to date picture of myself i have to offer

come hang out at my campsite

Thu, 07 May 2009 01:49:01 GMT

when i was home over winter break someone told me i "left for college a boy and came back a man"

i still don't really know what that means, i know for a fact i am still a child
but i was looking through old pictures, remembering old times
and well,
i've changed alot this past year

and as indescribably excited as i am to come home
i'm honestly kinda scared after being gone so long
in a place so different

...but i am still wearing the same tshirt

Mon, 04 May 2009 19:22:36 GMT

I READ THIS FOR CLASS AND GOT REALLY FUCKING HOME SICK

The Most Radical Thing You Can Do-

LONG AGO the poet and bioregionalist Gary Snyder said, “The most radical thing you can do is stay home,” a phrase that has itself stayed with me for the many years since I first heard it. Some or all of its meaning was present then, in the bioregional 1970s, when going back to the land and consuming less was how the task was framed. The task has only become more urgent as climate change in particular underscores that we need to consume a lot less. It’s curious, in the chaos of conversations about what we ought to do to save the world, how seldom sheer modesty comes up—living smaller, staying closer, having less—especially for us in the ranks of the privileged. Not just having a fuel-efficient car, but maybe leaving it parked and taking the bus, or living a lot closer to work in the first place, or not having a car at all. A third of carbon-dioxide emissions nationwide are from the restless movements of goods and people.

We are going to have to stay home a lot more in the future. For us that’s about giving things up. But the situation looks quite different from the other side of all our divides. The indigenous central Mexicans who are driven by poverty to migrate have begun to insist that among the human rights that matter is the right to stay home. So reports David Bacon, who through photographs and words has become one of the great chroniclers of the plight of migrant labor in our time. “Today the right to travel to seek work is a matter of survival,” he writes. “But this June in Juxtlahuaca, in the heart of Oaxaca’s Mixteca region, dozens of farmers left their fields, and women weavers their looms, to talk about another right, the right to stay home. . . . In Spanish, Mixteco, and Triqui, people repeated one phrase over and over: the derecho de no migrar—the right to not migrate. Asserting this right challenges not just inequality and exploitation facing migrants, but the very reasons why people have to migrate to begin with.” Seldom mentioned in all the furor over undocumented immigrants in this country is the fact that most of these indigenous and mestizo people would be quite happy not to emigrate if they could earn a decent living at home; many of them are just working until they earn enough to lay the foundations for a decent life in their place of origin, or to support the rest of a family that remains behind.

From outer space, the privileged of this world must look like ants in an anthill that’s been stirred with a stick: everyone constantly rushing around in cars and planes for work and pleasure, for meetings, jobs, conferences, vacations, and more. This is bad for the planet, but it’s not so good for us either. Most of the people I know regard with bemusement or even chagrin the harried, scattered lives they lead. Last summer I found myself having the same conversation with many different people, about our craving for a life with daily rites; with a sense of time like a well-appointed landscape with its landmarks and harmonies; and with a sense of measure and proportion, as opposed to a formless and unending scramble to go places and get things and do more. I think of my mother’s lower-middle-class childhood vacations, which consisted of going to a lake somewhere not far from Queens and sitting still for a few weeks—a lot different from jetting off to heli-ski in the great unknown and all the other models of hectic and exotic travel urged upon us now.

For the privileged, the pleasure of staying home means being reunited with, or finally getting to know, or finally settling down to make the beloved place that home can and should be, and it means getting out of the limbo of nowheres that transnational corporate products and their natural habitats—malls, chains, airports, asphalt wastelands—occupy. It means reclaiming home as a rhythmic, coherent kind of time. Which seems to be what Bacon’s Oaxacans want as well, although their version of being uprooted and out of place is much grimmer than ours.

At some point last summer I started to feel as if the future had arrived, the future I’ve always expected, the one where conventional expectations start to crack and fall apart—kind of like arctic ice nowadays, maybe—and we rush toward an uncertain, unstable world. Of course the old vision of the future was of all hell breaking loose, but what’s breaking loose now is a strange mix of blessings and hardships. Petroleum prices have begun doing what climate-change alarms haven’t: pushing Americans to alter their habits. For people in the Northeast who heat with oil, the crisis had already arrived a few years back, but for a lot of Americans across the country, it wasn’t until filling up the tank cost three times as much as it had less than a decade ago that all the rushing around began to seem questionable, unaffordable, and maybe unnecessary. Petroleum consumption actually went down 4 percent in the first quarter of the year, and miles driven nationally also declined for the first time in decades. These were small things in themselves, but they are a sign of big changes coming. The strange postwar bubble of affluence with its frenzy of building, destroying, shipping, and traveling seems to be deflating at last. The price of petroleum even put a dent in globalization; a piece headlined “Shipping Costs Start to Crimp Globalization” in the New York Times mentioned several manufacturers who decided that cheaper labor no longer outweighed long-distance shipping rates. The localized world, the one we need to embrace to survive, seems to be on the horizon.

But a localized world must address the unwilling and exploited emigrés as well as the joy riders and their gratuitously mobile goods. For the Oaxacans, the right to stay home will involve social and economic change in Mexico. Other factors pushing them to migrate come from our side of the border, though—notably the cheap corn emigrating south to bankrupt farm families and communities. The changing petroleum economy could reduce the economic advantage to midwestern corporate farmers growing corn and maybe make shipping it more expensive too. What’s really needed, of course, is a change of the policy that makes Mexico a dumping ground for this stuff, whether that means canceling NAFTA or some other insurrection against “free trade.” Another thing rarely mentioned in the conversations about immigration is what American agriculture would look like without below-minimum-wage immigrant workers, because we have gotten used to food whose cheapness comes in part from appalling labor conditions. It is because we have broken out of the frame of our own civility that undocumented immigrants are forced out of theirs.

Will the world reorganize for the better? Will Oaxaca’s farmers get to stay home and practice their traditional agriculture and culture? Will we stay home and grow more of our own food with dignity, humanity, a little sweat off our own brows, and far fewer container ships and refrigerated trucks zooming across the planet? Will we recover a more stately, settled, secure way of living as the logic of ricocheting like free electrons withers in the shifting climate? Some of these changes must come out of the necessity to reduce carbon emissions, the unaffordability of endlessly moving people and things around. But some of it will have to come by choice. To choose it we will have to desire it—desire to stay home, own less, do less getting and spending, to see a richness that lies not in goods and powers but in the depth of connections. The Oaxacans are ahead of us in this regard. They know what is gained by staying home, and most of them have deeper roots in home to begin with. And they know what to do outside the global economy, how to return to a local realm that is extraordinarily rich in food and agriculture and culture.

The word radical comes from the Latin word for root. Perhaps the most radical thing you can do in our time is to start turning over the soil, loosening it up for the crops to settle in, and then stay home to tend them.

Sat, 02 May 2009 16:02:02 GMT

mayday in asheville means parades, a DIY circus, an occupation dance party and a hella fun reclaim the streets

i think i'm really gettin used to life down here

Mon, 27 Apr 2009 04:28:45 GMT

at about 5 oclock pm saturday i realized i had eatin nothing but cn gas all day